Have you ever planned a kid’s birthday party? Or 2? Or 3… at the same time? So this week is my kids’ 10th birthday party. Yeah, notice that apostrophe after “kids”. It’s intentional. There are three of them. Triplets… by design. Not my design mind you… Certainly not my husband’s. Anyway…they’d each like to have their own separate birthday party. Why not? How hard can that be? I’m sure David Tutera could pull it off between commercials. Maybe the three parties can be tied together with a theme: “Authenticity”. I’ll schedule the parties just like the kids were born: All within three minutes.
At 8:51 am, we can go to the popular arcade place for my son’s party with his friends, their parents, and whomever else they decided to bring uninvited. At 8:52, we can go to the swimming club for daughter #1 and her entourage. (I’m sure she’ll be fine being labeled “daughter #1 when I tell her that it will psychologically scar her sister for life.) Then at 8:54, we can go to the climby, jumpy place for daughter #2’s party with her own cast of characters. Then, because if they can’t agree on a party place, you don’t really expect them to agree on a food place, do you?…
At 9:00 am, we’ll have an early lunch for my son at Taco Bell, hot dogs for daughter #1, and McNuggets for daughter #2. Then, an hour and $6,000 later (it would be more but I have a Taco Bell coupon), we can say goodbye to all fifty-two party attendees and retire to the peace of our living room where the three lovely siblings can savagely rip open their gifts on the floor and proclaim:
- I already have this. Can we take it back?
- Why did she get one in blue? Blue’s my favorite color.
- Oh no! I broke it when I pulled the paper off!
- I don’t care that I got 22 presents. I didn’t get anything good.
- I already opened all of mine and they have one more left. Now I have nothing to open.
- Mommy, could you put this together now? Mommy?…Daddy?
- Hey! He took my blue one. The blue one was mine!
- I’m so bored. Can I go on my tablet?
- This was the worst birthday ever.
- Oh, my show’s on. I promise I’ll clean up the wrapping paper in the morning.
(By the way: They may complain about their presents, but they’re truly happy with anything that can be used to beat the other two with.)
An alternative party plan: This one is inspired. It’s more than inspired. It’s genius. We can throw everyone into the backyard… with a sprinkler and pizza delivery.
(Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’re a little less stressed out than when you got here. If you’d like more laughs at your kids’ expense please check out my latest fast, fun-reading eBook: Laughing IS Conceivable: From End of School to Back-to-School by clicking the book cover up there or returning to my home page http://laughingisconceivable.com)