Valentine’s Day: Finally: The Perfect Holiday.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect holiday for people trying to conceive.  I know you think I’m about to go into the importance of rekindling our romance. Yeah yeah… I’ll get to that in a minute. But first and foremost:

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Infertility Groundhog Day

Infertility Groundhog Day is almost upon us. Infertility Groundhog Day is much like regular Groundhog Day. If you’re  not in the U.S. or Canada and are unfamiliar with Groundhog Day, you’re really missing out. Every February 2nd, if this groundhog in Pennsylvania sees his shadow, it is considered a prediction that we will have six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow, it means an early spring. Infertility Groundhog Day is similar. If the groundhog sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of infertility. If he doesn’t see his shadow, it means things will be blooming sooner than later. And for most of us, the groundhog feels about as good as a predictor of what we can expect next as just about anything anybody else has told us.

But let’s face it: Most of us who are going or have gone through infertility can relate less to the holiday and more to the Bill Murray movie variety of Groundhog Day.

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IUI, IVF, FET & Other Random Letters

Like most people going through infertility online, when I first read all of the abbreviations in people’s posts, I found it daunting. I mean I knew most of the medical ones: IUI, IVF FET… (I found out about the last one the hard way… by going through it.) But I had to scramble around googling and infiltrating various infertility groups to reveal the hidden meaning behind the conversational abbreviations: BFP, BFN, AF, DH.

Then people started to mix the medical abbreviations and the conversational abbreviations with texting chatter. Continue reading

January 1st: A New Chapter in an Old Book?

I think one of the biggest problems with making New Year’s Resolutions is that we don’t know ourselves at all. So we take our goals to La La Land. Like people who vow to go to the gym four times a week to replace their habit of going to the drive-thru four times a week. Is that really going to happen? New Year’s Day this year was on a Monday. So, Thursday they went to McDonald’s. Friday they went to Wendy’s. Saturday they went to Arby’s. Sunday they went to KFC. Then Monday thru Thursday they went to the gym. And if we’re not all or nothing, we’re  half-assed. Like we go to Burger King and then the gym. Or we join Planet Fitness, work out for twenty minutes then have three slices of their complimentary pizza on the way out the door. At least we could show some valid compromise: Make Sunday our Chick-Fil-A day since they’re closed.

Sometimes with trying to have a baby we take our goals to La La land. I’m all for optimism and positive thinking… but not La La land. La La land is for those quiet moments when you’re driving and hear Brad Pitt whisper into your ear how fabulous you look over there driving with no make-up, a ponytail you haven’t taken out for two days and your husband’s sweats, (Now back to our originally scheduled post.) Continue reading

The Healing Power of Laughter

Humor, comedy– whatever you call it– people who write or say funny things on a daily basis do it to help themselves and those around them process those millions of microscopic bits of life that compound to make huge bits of life. Humor tries to make sense of all of the  anger, fear, stress and uncertainty. There are all of these complex, giant issues in this world and in our own personal lives that are wrapped up in other complex issues… Somehow if we can tidy up something so massive into one comedic movie or even one joke, the issue, whether it be infertility or global warming, for at least that moment, shrinks down into one tidy, manageable, byte-size package that doesn’t overwhelm us.  In the January/February 2018 edition of Carolina Woman, I have an article entitled: “The Healing Power of Laughter”. There’s stuff about me being “stalked” on the NYC subway, and a funny dentist. It’s what we all deep-down want in life, isn’t it? A funny dentist?

And if you’d like to start 2018 with some infertility-related laughs, please check out my book. It’s recommended by renown infertility professionals around the U.S. & is available on Amazon, Nook, & Kobo.  https://www.amazon.com//dp/B007G9X19A/

 

To read my article in the winter edition of Carolina Woman, come on over: http://carolinawoman.com/body_2018_01.php

 

 

 

When Infertility & The Holidays Collide

Happy Holidays to Everyone!!

Do you guys know what a “holiday schedule” is? I had no idea. That is, until I went to the dentist a few weeks ago. Between their gabby hygienists and their little doorless cubicles with the half walls, it’s amazing how much you can learn just by going to the dentist and being a good eavesdropper. It’s also astonishing how we may all come from different places, different cultures, and different traditions, and yet when we’re dealing with infertility during holiday time, and then we all get together online or in person to compare notes, we find that our experiences are all eerily similar. No matter who, where or how… we all have relatives who seem to fall into certain categories: “The Inquisitor”, “The Clueless”, “The Jokester”.

Dr. Serena H. Chen at St. Barnabas IVF- IRMS Reproductive Medicine was kind enough to let me horn in on their blog this week, so for the rest of this post, please join me there:  http://www.sbivf.com/blog/

Looking for more laughs while navigating infertility & the holidays at the same time? My book is now available in both eBook & paperback on Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo (eBook)

 

 

“Year-in-Review”- Why oh Why Must They?

We all know that holidays can be tough for people dealing with infertility. We brace ourselves for getting attacked from all sides: Family, friends, coworkers… Even though it’s almost always unintentional, everybody throws their kids in your face with great enthusiasm: They’ll tell you what they’re buying the kids for Christmas or Hanukkah. They’ll ask your opinion on what to buy them. They’ll take the adorable items out of the bag and show them to you. They’ll scroll through the photos on their phone and narrate every single one: “This is their first Christmas.” “This is the first Christmas that they understood what was going on.” “This is the first Hanukkah where they didn’t put the dreidel in their mouth. It’s the first Hanukkah we didn’t have to do The Heimlich Maneuver.” But for me, over the many years before, during and after my bout with infertility and IVF, the worst torture is the one that comes in the mail.  Has anyway ever sent you an “Our Year-in-Review”  card?

 

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Expect to have Holiday Expectations

So you think you dread the holidays this year because you’re dealing with infertility? How about before you were dealing with infertility? I truly believe that many many people- those with normally functioning reproductive systems included- either dread or at least would rather not go to these family soirees and there’s one main reason: Expectations: Either we fear that our holiday gatherings won’t live up to what we expect. Or, even worse: They will.

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Infertility at Work- at the Company Holiday Party

“My Co-Workers are like Family”

office-of-angry-people

Why do people think that’s a good thing? So you’re telling me that you get on each other’s nerves, push each other’s buttons, talk behind each other’s backs, and hold eternal grudges?

Mercifully, most of our extended real family, the ones with whom we spend holidays, are people we don’t see that often. So whatever idiocies are said at the big family gathering.:

I really think you should start having children. You’re not getting any younger.

Or our response:

“I really think you should stop talking. You’re not getting any smarter.

…are said and then we all get into our respective cars, gripe to anyone unfortunate enough to be trapped in the vehicle with us for the long & getting-longer-by-the-minute-ride-home, or a BFF on the other end of the hands-free. Then we rehash the emotional leftovers in our minds and to our spouses for the next 12 months. It’s different after the company holiday event.

woman-arguing-to-man-in-care

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Down the F’n Tubes: Interview with the Authors

Quick Note: My eBook is now (finally, mercifully) in paperback.  Regular price- $9.99 USD. New launch price through November- $8.49

The eBook is also on sale this month. Usually $4.99/now $3.99. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692950117

(Contact me directly for orders of 5 books or more-I’ll hook ya up.) Now back to our regularly scheduled blog.

So I started chatting with someone online who had written a new book called: Down the F’n Tubes: An Ode to Fertility Futility.  I’m really big on titles. I love a good play on words and phrases and can’t think of one that would better sum up the feelings of anxiety and frustration of infertility than that one. (Is it too late to change my book title?) Unlike most infertility books, this one isn’t written by a medical professional or “the woman” but “the couple”. I cyber sat down with “the couple”, Tom and Virginia Hanada for an interview. Continue reading