Infertility at Work- at the Company Holiday Party

“My Co-Workers are like Family”

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Why do people think that’s a good thing? So you’re telling me that you get on each other’s nerves, push each other’s buttons, talk behind each other’s backs, and hold eternal grudges?

Mercifully, most of our extended real family, the ones with whom we spend holidays, are people we don’t see that often. So whatever idiocies are said at the big family gathering.:

I really think you should start having children. You’re not getting any younger.

Or our response:

“I really think you should stop talking. You’re not getting any smarter.

…are said and then we all get into our respective cars, gripe to anyone unfortunate enough to be trapped in the vehicle with us for the long & getting-longer-by-the-minute-ride-home, or a BFF on the other end of the hands-free. Then we rehash the emotional leftovers in our minds and to our spouses for the next 12 months. It’s different after the company holiday event.

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Infertility at Work: The Company Holiday Party: (Gd help us all… everyone.)

If someone you’ve confided in at work about your infertility starts gabbing at the big celebration, maybe after confusing the open bar with the buffet two or twelve times, or maybe you yourself imbibed more than you should have and, mistaking catty coworkers for friends, sailed your own secrets down the River Rum… unlike with your family, you won’t have to deal with the backlash until…..Not next Thanksgiving. Not next Christmas….. Monday.

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And since a juicy bit of gossip is often the best holiday bonus people can bring home nowadays- Any seeds of “news” employees start spreading at the holiday party 2017 (assuming they even remember the holiday party 2017) will grow and flourish until New Year’s Day… 2019. When finally you’ll be able to get up off the hot seat because at least one of the following will have taken place:

  1. You’ll be pregnant (yeah!) and they’ll switch from discussing how infertile you were to how fat you are.
  2. You’ll be a parent and they’ll switch to discussing how much time you’re taking off.
  3. People will finally have grown as tired of your infertility as you have.
  4. A fair number of employees at the December 2017 holiday party won’t even be at the December 2018 holiday party because those holiday parties are only for company employees: Something which, for one reason or other, many will no longer be a year later. Of course, the most likely thing to occur to get you off the hot seat:
  5. Something new and way more delicious than your humdrum infertility will emerge at the party as the new reigning scandal:

A good old-fashioned boisterous, public cursing out; The manager feeding appetizers to the assistant manager from her cleavage; The CFO going to get her coat to leave and throwing up in the cloak room window… The possibilities are endless.

(I really appreciate you taking time at this busy time of year to stop by. I hope you feel even just a little bit better than you did when you got here. If you’d like more laughter at infertility’s expense, please check out my book above- now available in eBook & paperback: Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman’s Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility. (Recommended by renowned infertility professionals) https://www.amazon.com//dp/0692950117)

 

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4 thoughts on “Infertility at Work- at the Company Holiday Party

  1. I’m a firm believer that any situation that involves booze and “family” (extended or not) requires an escape plan. You’re reminding me why it’s all that more important when dealing with infertility.

    1. You’re so right. I’ve never been a drinker so I learned way back in college, once people start to go over the edge and they’re the only one who thinks they’re amusing, “Coat please!”

  2. Ugh. One of the bonuses of self-employment is there is no Christmas party! (Or if there is one, I have very good company, choose my booze, and never offend the boss.)

    Yes, at work I was told “you know what you need to do? Go and have babies!” By two men, in a male-dominated workplace. At least if they’d been family I could have thrown my drink in their faces. (I wish!)

    1. You just can’t win with them. When I worked at a place that always had a nice party, there would still always be some underlying plot lines that people would be talking about for months. Then I worked at a place that didn’t do anything. They basically designated a conference room, told everybody they could bring food if they wanted, and people could slip away for a few minutes if they had time during the business day to run in there. So then we all talked about how cheap the place was for the whole next year. Self-employment… I’m with you! Holiday party: Snacks and a Monk marathon! xo

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