IVF, well, fertility treatments in general, as most of us know all too well, are costly: Emotionally, physically, and well… monetarily. Ah, infertility & finances. Infertility & money. Bad enough you have to go to all of those appointments and be subjected to proby things put up you and blood siphoned out of you. Stuff injected, swallowed, inserted or shot into you.
Now, on top of all of that: The damn treatments expect to be paid for.
Infertility & Money & babysitting
When I was going through IVF, I thought about getting a second job, maybe babysitting. How can watching someone else’s kids not be a fun and rewarding experience when you’ve been desperately trying to get pregnant for two years with no sign of success? (Actually, we all know certain kids— spending a few hours with them might make you forget the whole thing.)
Okay, so, nowadays a babysitter makes, what? At least, forty dollars a night.
So, okay. Let’s say I worked at my regular job every day and worked overtime every night. And then, afterwards, I babysat. Every night. Seven days a week. I’m sure there are lots of couples headed out to have a date night at eleven on a Tuesday evening.
So that would be at least two hundred and eighty dollars a week just from babysitting. At that rate, I could have one round of IVF signed, sealed, and delivered in about ten years. Just from babysitting. Not bad. I’d be ready to start treatments three weeks before I turn fifty-two.
Infertility & Money & a lemonade stand
Or maybe my husband could set up a lemonade stand outside his office on his lunch break.
Why not? On a NYC corner, he could charge eight dollars a cup and nobody would blink. Nobody would buy, but nobody would blink. Well, tourists might buy. And maybe he could wear a thong bikini bottom to bolster business. (Like the young women selling hot dogs, roadside in South Florida used to…That is… until the old women complained their husbands were putting on too much weight… and crashing their cars due to distracted driving.)
Infertility & Money & family (a very short paragraph)
Or we could borrow money from family…Wait, where’d they all just go?
Infertility & Money & Amex
Or we could max out our credit card…if our credit limit hadn’t been dropped from $35,000 to $12.95.
Infertility & Money & a bake sale
Or we could do a bake sale. How many chocolate chips do you need to make $20,000 worth of cookies? I’ll probably need a bigger bowl.
Infertility & Money & online shopping
Or we could sell stuff on e-bay. If I can find a way to market old crap as nostalgia.
Infertility & Money & whoring my BA
Or we could barter. I have a degree in Foreign Languages. Do you know a Reproductive Endocrinologist who could use $20,000 worth of Spanish lessons?
So, the moral for this week is the moral for every week on this blog: If you’re dealing with infertility in general or IVF in specific: The diagnosis, the treatments, and on top of all that… the financial issues… and you’re worried that you’re losing your mind. Don’t worry. You are. We all are. With infertility: Abnormality is the norm.
(If you’d like more laughs at infertility’s expense: Please check out my little eBook: Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman’s Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility. 66 Reviews/ 4.5 stars from people who don’t know me from a hole in the wall.
https://www.amazon.com//dp/B007G9X19A/ Also available on Nook & Kobo.) (cover above)
Thanks for stopping by! Hope you feel even just a little bit better than you did when you arrived.