So last week was sort of an introduction to infertility with a few terms and definitions sprinkled in among my usual smart ass remarks.
Infertility Transparency. Tell them everything. No secrets. CEOs and politicians talk about transparency all the time. Let the people know everything that’s going on. I think people struggling to get pregnant should have the same policy: Infertility Transparency. The people in our lives-family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, coworkers think they want to know everything about our infertility. I think we should tell them. We should tell them all. We should tell them everything. And I mean everything. If that doesn’t get rid of them…
So, presently I’m on the final days of a lovely vacation in Florida. For those buried under an avalanche of snow yet again…so sorry.
When you can’t get pregnant, every fool and her sister tells you to go on vacation. Apparently our reproductive systems know which climate we’re having sex in. But how do we know if our eggs and sperm are snobs? Maybe you’d get pregnant in a five star hotel. But your husband’s sperm refuses to be seen at a Motel 6. Continue reading
I have no friends during the holidays. And frankly, that’s the way I want it. I think those going through infertility make a big mistake in believing that this is the time you really need your friends the most. You definitely need your infertility-friends the most. The rest of them: They’re of no use to me. Continue reading
I know I know I’m late posting again. I was frying potato pancakes for Chanukah and the hot oil got me in the arm and I had to be rushed to the hospital. There’s nothing worse than a third degree latke burn.
(Start with “Monday” if you can. You need a break from your online holiday shopping. Listen to what I’m saying. Between Saturday and now, you’ve managed to memorize all of your credit card numbers. It’s a bad sign.)
So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Spending the holidays with your relatives… and their friends.
So which is worse: Being around relatives who may already know about your infertility or at least suspect…or their friends who are total strangers and know nothing? Continue reading
So, what were we talking about? Oh right… Fears. And people going through infertility treatments are loaded with them. Continue reading
(Start with “Monday” if you can. If you’re reading this in an air-conditioned room what’s the rush? It’s the first days of autumn and most of the U.S. is still 92 degrees.)
So what were we talking about? Oh right. Infertility-related comments our loved-ones make to us: The insensitive and the insulting. The inane and the insane. I think after mulling over them the past week, I finally realized what all of those remarks and advice have in common. Continue reading
I think I was luckier than most. I never tried to explain my infertility to my close friends and never expected them to understand.
By the time I had conception issues, I had had a lot of practice in my life banging my head against the wall trying to explain things about me that nobody understood and was over it.
So, what were we talking about? Oh right. This week is filled with holidays for me. From Labor day to Rosh Hashanah, (the Jewish New Year).
Yesterday we were talking about how the infertile among us dread holidays and despise family functions. And my theory (my Masters thesis) is that most people, those with normally functioning reproductive systems included, also hate going to these wingdings. And this is why: Continue reading
This will be a short blogging week for me. (If anyone just said “Yeah!”, or “Woo-hoo!” or gave a double thumbs-up sign, I swear I’ll come out there and slap you.)
It’s just that I find myself this week sandwiched between holidays. (As Yom Kippur, a day of fasting, approaches, you’ll be hearing me use more and more edible vocabulary. I crack under the pressure this time every year.)
I frankly have some problems with holidays in general. If you read my Mother’s Day posts in May, you’ll know this to be true.
And for those with fertility issues “going home” for the holidays, whatever holiday it might be… even labor day… (and why do they have to call it “labor” day anyway damn them!) can really freak us out.
How can you not dread the family firing squad? Continue reading