To Wind Up This Month of “Let’s Here it for the Boys… & their Boys”…
In the past few weeks, I’ve had guest posts from James who told his story about going from dealing with a surly infertility doctor to having twins and Philip who’s still going through his long bout with infertility and treatments– both as the patient and as the support person to his wife. But I haven’t written anything about my husband who was there during every step of my infertility adventure. And when I say “he was there”, I don’t necessarily mean he hugged and comforted me the whole time. I mean more like… well… he didn’t move out.
(Start with “Monday” if you can. This whole week is dedicated to the “Y” chromosome, all grown-up, married to us and keeping us company during the entire infertility debacle.)
So, what were we talking about? Oh right. Men and how they fit into the whole female infertility journey.
As I’m sure most of you are aware, infertility can be attributed to the female partner about 1/3 of the time, the male partner 1/3 of the time and a combination of the two 1/3 of the time… and of course there’s also the endlessly frustrating “anybody’s guess” column somewhere in the mix.
No matter who gets diagnosed with what: Forget “fault”. Neither of you is at fault. Somebody’s body’ is not working properly. No fault. You didn’t cause a car accident. If you became infertile because you were texting during sex, then forget what I said: Screw you, you are at fault. Otherwise, let blame,guilt, fault, all of that crap go.
And let’s say right here: If you’re the one who’s deemed to be the “infertile one” in the relationship… you have the absolute right to be a little jealous of your husband/wife, spouse, lover, best-you-could-do-under-the-circumstances, better-than-being-alone-or-so-I- thought-at-the-time, significant or insignificant other. Continue reading