Back-to-School time always sneaks up on me. If you’ve read previous posts, you’ll know that I’m typically between two weeks and eight years behind on everything. And this “policy” of mine, for lack of a better term, doesn’t discriminate: It applies equally to doing the laundry as it does to filling out camp registration forms to putting sunscreen on my children. But this year, turning around and finding that back-to-school time has sneaked up on me and smacked me in the ass isn’t really just because of my “policy”. Do they have year-round schools where you live? I’ve never quite gotten the hang of those. And I’d better get the hang soon… because my kids will be starting one in two weeks.
I’ve been avoiding this whole year-round school thing like the plague. If you’re totally unfamiliar with it, you probably still understand it twice as well as I do. Basically, the kids go to school for about nine weeks, then have three weeks off… all year long. So if you want to go to Maui in the off-season, you’re great. If you take an annual trip to your grandmother’s in Cleveland in the summer, you’re screwed. It took us a good three years to find a summer camp for our kids that would be for all of them, all three of them, all at the same time, for the whole summer… all of it. Now, we’re going to have to figure out what to do with them every nine weeks. What can I do with them that doesn’t cost a fortune? Let’s see. How many card games do I know? Maybe I could learn magic. Naaaa… I don’t have to entertain them every minute. That’s what the tablets and TV are for.
As if the whole year-round calendar idea wasn’t confusing enough, there are four different tracks. So you could have one kid in elementary school who’s on track 1 and gets out of school next week and doesn’t start again until September. Then you have a kid in middle school on track 3, who goes back tomorrow and one in high school who went back two weeks ago.
I heard on the local news that there are some kids here who graduated last Friday and then started their new school this Monday. I’m not kidding. So you’re like an elementary school kid on Friday and a middle schooler on Monday. Hurry up. There’s not much time. Better get that puberty thing over-with on the weekend. That and learning to open a combination lock. It’s like the school system is run by a soap opera writer. Monday the woman’s pregnant; Wednesday she has the baby; Friday it’s in third grade.
Back when my kids started elementary school, we switched them to a traditional calendar school because there was no guarantee that even all three kids– triplets mind you– all in the same school mind you–all in the same grade (at the moment anyway) mind you– would be on the same track. I could see me dealing with that.
“Look, Ms. Principal, I know one of my kids is supposed to come back to school today. I just don’t remember which one. Here, this one’s been the most annoying the past couple of days. Just take her.”
If you’d like more laughs at your children’s expense (or at least my children’s expense), please sign on to my bimonthly Laughing IS Conceivable newsletter and/or take a look at the new edition of my little, fun summer-reading eBook- For parents right now, in that 4th season of the year…
Laughing IS Conceivable: From End of School to Back-to-School (I love my kids. I love my kids. I LOVE MY KIDS!)
It’s all about that 4th season of the year that only parents of school-aged children have: When one school year ends and the other is about to begin… Camps vs keeping them busy all summer loooooong with lame local festivals or bowling or pools. And then, before we know it, we’re thrown into the whole back-to-school melee of back-to-school lists, supplies, shoe shopping, clothes shopping, doctor appointments, haircuts…. & then carpool vs bus & new teachers with that new teacher smell.
Newsletter: http://laughingisconceivable.com (top of page)
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