Raleigh Metro Society for Human Resource Management (RMSHRM) 2024: Thank you so much for attending!
Attract and Retain Quality Employees by Having their Emotional Back with Evidence-based Coping Skills
Present Moment Living
Presented by Lori Shandle-Fox, Owner, Laughing Is Conceivable…And Humor Heals
What is Living in the Present Moment All About?
It’s simply this:
Gently Shifting Our Focus from what’s in our heads, to what’s right in front of us, right now.
What Happens When We Don’t Live in the Present Moment?
When we Live in the Past:
Our time and energy are taken up with thoughts & feelings of:
Old Anger
Grudges
Regret
Resentment
Feelings of Guilt
When we Live in the Future:
Our time and energy are taken up with thoughts & feelings of:
Worry
“What If” thinking
Wild Expectations
So, What “Lives” in the Present Moment?
The sound of laughter, the crunch of a salty potato chip in our mouth, the feel of holding someone’s hand, a soft whisper, a warm breeze, our favorite song playing in a store…
Do we just want to live in the present moment? NOOOOO! We want to expand, flourish and revel in it!
Are You a “Did I Just-er?”
Do you frequently mumble to yourself?:
“Where did I just leave my keys?”
“Did I just take my vitamin?”
“Why did I just come into this room?”
We “did I just?” when we are not mentally present.
Our minds were some place else when we put down those keys, took that vitamin, or walked into that room.
Herd Healing:
Show Your Current & Future Employees You Have Their Emotional Back and
Remember: Sure, All these skills can be shared with staff & employees but learn them for yourself too!
You’re a first responder for everyone else’s emotional wellness. Put yourself first-in-line for your own!
So, how do we access “the present moment”?
It’s free and available to anyone and everyone any time we choose to access it.
It’s simply taking notice of our 5 senses: “What do I see, feel hear, taste, smell?”
How Our 5 Senses Transport Us to the 3S’s:
Every time we engage our 5 senses— Gently noticing what we see, hear, smell, touch and taste— it immediately causes us to:
Stop: Running from Place to Place, Task to Task
Silence: Quiet all of the noise—the worry, grudges, regret, anger, “what ifs”— in our minds
Self: Quieting our mind connects us with our Quiet Core: The unique spot in all of us where our creativity, true desires, passion, intuition, instinct, forgiveness, generosity, thankfulness, goodness & kindness all come from.
15% discount on all services for RMSHRM members*
*For an additional 5% discount on all services- subscribe to page on Substack@ https://lorishandlefox.substack.com
A Few Exercises that Won’t Add Even a Single Extra Minute to Your Already Really Busy Day
Non-Meditation Meditations:
So many chores, tasks, etc we do in a day offer opportunities to quiet our minds if only we choose to take them up on their generous offer:
Any Activity or Task that:
Requires a bit of concentration but not so much that we stress out.
Keeps some part of our body moving (not just our eyes or thumbs—so not reading, scrolling, or texting)
Has a clear beginning, middle, and end each time we do it
Gives us some sense of completion or satisfaction each time we finish it.
Nearly all of our household chores qualify:
Laundry, dog walking, washing dishes, vacuuming, sweeping.
Simply— Gently shift your focus from what’s in your mind—the overthinking, overanalyzing, self-critical—to what’s right in front you, right here, right now: Engage the 5 senses: What do you see, hear, taste, feel, smell? Get detailed! And just like during meditation, when your mind drifts (which it will), just gently re-direct it back to your 5 senses.
Shower Inventory: Know Your Parts!
We’re often soooo busy running from place to place, task to task, person to person, (crisis to crisis?), that we forget to check in with ourselves to see how we’re doing. This simple self-evaluation done once a week in the shower (more often might become stressful) keeps us in touch with how we really are thinking and feeling. I’ll bet many of your answers will surprise you!
1. “Divide” yourself into 4 parts:
Body, Mind, Heart, & Soul
2. Swiftly rate each one- 1-10 -how you’re feeling that day, at that moment. Don’t overthink and remember… each day, each category might change its meaning for example:
Body could mean: “Do I feel fat? Bloated? Hungry? Tired? Healthy? Strong? Young? Old? (And don’t underestimate any achievement: Feeling tired and sore because you went to the gym yesterday is not the same as feeling tired and sore because you stayed up drinking last night and fell out of bed.)
Mind: “Am I feeling calm? in charge? frazzled?”
Heart: It could be romantic love or a sibling or child. Every day it can change. “Am I feeling loved? Adored? Rejected? Neglected?”
Soul: “Is this part of me being nourished? Do I feel fulfilled in my passion? Have I felt kindness or generosity today?”
And a shower is an ideal place to do this self-inventory because:
It’s one of the few places we can be totally alone
The sound and feel of the shower is calming and therapeutic
The sound of the shower drowns out our chatter so we can feel we can speak aloud more freely
We are not encumbered by any type of clothing so our evaluations are not influenced by any of our daily roles: no uniform, heels, yoga pants, business suits— It’s just us talking to us.