How Our Toenails Can Help Us Make Better… and Keep… New Year’s Resolutions
Yes. I AM aware that my title looks like the victim of a really bad autocorrect. It will make some sort of sense, I hope, before we wind up here. There are 2 main reasons, I believe, why our New Year’s Resolutions fail:
1) When we sit down to write the list, we somehow think we are a non-fiction writer, instead of the amateur Aesop that we truly are.
“Once upon a time, there was this overwhelmed, exhausted person who ate whatever and hated to the core, exercise, learning foreign languages, and socializing. One day, on the 1st of January, she whirled around several times and turned into an energized, motivated daily gym-going, green juice smoothie making, Duolingo-loving, social butterfly and lived happily ever after. The end.”
When we write our resolutions, are we really taking into consideration who we are right now and where we are starting from? Or are we just creating fantasy goals that no human could keep up with for more than a week?
2) We often don’t consider what achieving a particular resolution might really entail.
Okay, I get that a “Resolutions” list by nature, focuses on the end goal. It’s not a to-do list. Nobody writes: Resolution #1: Return emails. Resolution #2: Vacuum the car. But we also should take into account that each real resolution probably requires somewhere between 10 and 1200 little steps to reach... many of which we can’t possibly foresee from where we are now.
So this is where our toenails come in. When we jot down those resolutions, what say we consider where we stand right now and what we can easily accomplish tomorrow.
So:
1) “Learn French”- Okay, that’s a worthy goal. And it’s pretty attainable. If where you are now is overworked and underpaid with a wonky car— this is a goal where you have some cheap, flexible schedule options that don’t require any driving.
2) “Get into shape” may sound dumb because it’s so vague but it also leaves options. Every resolution should include a gut check. (No, don’t look down and see the flab.) When we write a resolution, our gut should feel hopeful and somewhat comforted— like you’re doing a good thing for yourself— not fill with angst and dread.
If physical fitness is a 2023 goal, sit with: “Get into shape”, “Eat better”, “Lose some weight”, or “Exercise regularly” and see how those feel in your gut. Those are toenail resolutions: They’re just an inch in front of where you stand right now. Next week you can start to fill in the blanks on what toenail steps will work for you each week or month to attain it.
What if your resolutions are: “Lose 50 pounds.” “Go to the gym 5 days a week.”, “Do a half-marathon”? How does your gut feel about those? Well, where are you standing today? If you’ve recently lost 30 pounds, go to the gym 4 days a week, or have done a few 10k’s, then these might be just a toenail’s length in front of you. If you are in a cycle of doing any and all diets for a week and giving up, drive to the mailbox, and haven’t been in a gym since 12th grade and only ran then because there was a guy with a whistle chasing you... these goals might overwhelm and stress out your gut.
So, sure, put those resolutions out there… dream big… but remember to think about the toenail effect. “Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor. You put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door.” … Kris Kringle, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. (I only quote the best.)
