What Do I Do When Everyone Tries to Turn Me into Human Taffy?
Hopefully you’re envisioning yourself being pulled in ten different directions by ten different people and not cemented into their teeth for two days.
At a recent conference for educators, during a session about “Present Moment Living: Making School & Home Life Less Stressful… for Everyone”, I was talking about focusing on what’s “right in front of us, right now.” A second grade teacher raised her hand and asked:
“How do I focus on one person or thing when everyone is vying for my time and attention and pulling me in a million different directions?”
The answer is this: One at a time. Multi-tasking is for suckers. It leads to us doing a few things “sort of” and nothing “great”. I’ll give a school scenario, but the rules are the same dealing with any aged person with any job title. (And I mean that.)
Imagine student Jeremy, for example, who comes to you with a question. Instead of thinking about getting back to the lesson, or bus duty in an hour, or the six other students tapping your arm and calling your name, or the assistant principal standing in your doorway like the Grim Reaper for no apparent reason. What if you focused on Jeremy—just Jeremy-- for 15 uninterrupted seconds? (No, no I didn’t say “minutes”. I’m not that delusional.)
What if you observed his demeanor? His body language? Heard the words he chose? Do they reflect what he really is asking? Maybe even preface it by saying to the others—only once: “One moment. I’m talking with Jeremy right now.” What would happen in those 15 seconds? Would the other kids wait for your attention? So what if they keep tapping and calling? Would the assistant principal give up and walk away? (Hmmm. There’s an interesting prospect.) Who knows? We can be sure that Jeremy will feel pretty special and of a few more things:
1) There’s truth in that dusty old adage about teaching people how we want to be treated. After doing this 15 second thing over and over, everyone will start to get it: “Oh, right. The whining, yelling, jumping up and down and doorway standing won’t have any effect or do me any good. I have to wait. And
2) “When it’s my turn, I will be special. I will get their focused, undivided attention.”
